Vehicles Towed at Owner's Expense

I think I want to drop out of college. Not permanently. I just don't want to do this anymore - I have a feeling that if college wasn't something that I had to do, something that wasn't required and expected of me, I wouldn't be here right now. Yes, I needed to get out of my house. I want to go to college, and get my teaching degree, and become a writer, etcetera, but I don't think I can be in college right now. Most days I just sit and wonder about how much I really need it anyway, about how much I need any of this. The long distance fights, the happiness, the laughter, the utter frustration, the stress, the tears, the sleepless nights and exhausted days. I don't need to be home, and I don't need to be here. I just want to pack up my laptop and go squat somewhere, write my life away, take a break from all of the expectations and necessities, work for a semester or two, just figure out my life. My dad did that, took some time off from school to just organize his head. I could do that. I could just cut myself off from everything and go live in some strange little town as a waitress and write, and it would be okay.

But instead, I'll settle for doing the next best thing. Living up to my mother's expectations, of everyone's expectations that I stay in school. Because people who drop out or decide to take time off, or aren't ready for college yet are looked down upon, and I don't want to be one of those people. So instead of just going here and expecting it to someday get better, I'll transfer to Valdosta. I sent in my application electronically tonight. We shall see. We shall see.

Tear drop 1:35 AM of Sarah

No Parking After Sunset

Met a boy. His name is Paul. He is 21 and lives three hours away from SBC, which is good, because attachment is bad. He's sweet... am supposed to chill with him the weekend after I get back. He is yummy looking, but a total prep. Ex football player. We'll see.

I will be home in a matter of days! How cool is that? I can't wait to see everyone, I think it will be funfunfun. Thinking of coming to school and not getting a trespassing ticket a la Mr. Simpson, but yeah.. so y'all will have to let me know where you'll be and stuff, and what day would be good to come, mmkay?

Watched Sleepers last night with Audra and Fallon... holy shit, that movie is rough. Very emotional, very powerful. We were sitting there going HOLY SHIT about every 2 seconds. Wow. Watch it.

Am listening to Live and doing homework... it has been a very productive weekend. I don't really have anything to say, I'm just putting off opening up my Education book and reading 50 pages of CRAP by dinner. Yah.

Someone leave me an interesting comment.. brighten my day... :)

Tear drop 4:34 PM of Sarah

Kate and I are bored.
We have been sitting in the same positions since 2 pm, and it is now 4. We will be here for another hour and a half. Yay.

Besides being bored, I've been on Diane's computer all day looking at Ian's archives and reading the comments. I realized a lot of profound interesting things about Ian and all of the people in our group. Weird.

Watched the Friends season premiere last night, and thought of Chanandler Mays and Ms. Beverly. Watched Will and Grace season premiere and thought of Ian and Nickie. Watched Coupling and thought of all the crazy shit that has gone down since January. Watched ER and thought of Adam. Interesting how tv shows can make you think about your friends...

Fallon, Audra and I are hitting up the cafeteria tonight for Mac'n'cheese (I live for their mac'n'cheese) and then starting a Friends marathon that will run intermittenly with homework doing. We're all sick. Audra and I are 99 percent likely to have been bitten by male brown recluse spiders. Yay. So Friendsing sounds fun... not season four, thats a ChandlerSarahIan thing for christmas break, right? Prob. seaons one and two. So bored. Going to go take my smoke break and then stare at the wall some more....

"So I woke up, and I stared at the wall..." - Unemployed! Woo!

Tear drop 4:00 PM of Sarah

Oh my gosh! I have had pretty cool nights the past two nights with my chicks and dealings with Sweet Briar Tradition...

For a little history on Sweet Briar, it was founded in 1901 when Indiana Fletcher Williams died about 15 years after the untimely death of her daughter, Daisy. Daisy had been a bright child, and had always wanted to go to college and receive more education, but unfortunately she died at the age of 16. She was buried in the Fletcher family graveyeard, with a huge statue presiding over her. Indiana never recovered. When Indiana died in 1901 she left Sweet Briar Plantation to Lynchburg, Va, in order to create a college for women. As the years went by, the hill on which the graveyard lay became known as Monument Hill. It is said that if you go up to Monument Hill after midnight, and look at the statue, it begins to scream, Daisy's screams. Screams of dying.

So last night six of us piled into a two-seater Camaro and drove the mile and a half into the middle of the woods, through the fog, up to Monument Hill. It was incredibly eerie just driving up there, and when we did, we rolled down the windows. We were all PANICKED. And my friend Kandise says, "we need to get out of the car!" Shawna, being the smart black girl, said, "Bitch, that's what the stupid blonde girl says in every horror movie!" And then we heard screaming. We FREAKED OUT and turned the car back on and raced down the gravel as fast as we could back to Meta Glass dormitory.

Tonight we were to participate in the "Rock and Hitching Post" fight, which sounds incredibly stupid, but is actually really fun, and a giant fight between the sophomores and the first years. Basically, a whole bunch of girls get together and throw paint at each other while trying to keep their post from getting paint on it. It was an incredible amount of fun, just slinging paint in our tennis shoes and old shirts and soffee's. Everything I wore is tie-dyed green and purplish blue. It's awesome! And since the first years won, my hallmates and I ran all the way over to the sledding hill (which is an enormous fucking hill) and rolled down it, twice, one time making a human chain and trying to hold each others feet as we rolled. It was so much fun! We got grass all over everywhere, mud was staining everything (as it has been raining for three days) and we were scraped and scratched as much as we could be.

We then decided to go after the fourth floor "Virgin Vault," since we kind of have a "War" with them, and took a rinse off in their showers and got mud and grass EVERYWHERE. Some girl came in and was like "y'all have to clean this up, the girls are not going to appreciate this tomorrow..." but whatever. We went for a smoke, came back in, got yelled at to clean up the showers, did, stole all of their paper towels, and came back to clean ourselves up.

I didn't think I'd have this much fun up here at this tiny women's college, but it's slowly growing on me. Too bad the financial situation is getting worse.

Tear drop 10:28 PM of Sarah

Okay, it's time... for a quotes game! Woo! Everyone get excited!

1. Well, she was just 17/ You know what I mean/ And the way she looked was way beyond compare. "I Saw Her Standing There" - The Beatles

2. We can never lie/And you can never steal the time/And we can only watch them die/And we can never find out why "Start Over" - Abandoned Pools

3. Well I could be wrong I don't even know myself/And I must be strong when you're gone so long/I don't need to know reasons why. "Get You In" - Better than Ezra

4. this cigarette it could seduce a nation with its smoke/crawling down my tired throat/scratches part of me that's purring/softly stirring

5. When you’re on a golden sea/You don’t need no memory/Just a place to call your own/As we drift into the zone

6. And he won’t follow/These lines they’ve drawn for him/And he don’t want to try/Seeing is believing/Lord knows what he sees here

7. I can be anything/That you want me to be/A punching bag, a piece of string, oh/That reminds you not to think

8. I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone/I recommend walking around naked in your living room/Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)/It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)/Wait until the dust settles "You Learn" - Alanis Morrisette

9. The theme returns so deep/And visits us in sleep/To define the you and I as we/So we pass the time and occupy our minds/And close our eyes and hope that we'll be fine

10. Well somethin' on the surface, it stings./I said somethin' on the surface, well it kinda makes me nervous./To say that you deserve this and/What kind of God would serve this/We will cure this dirty ol' disease "The Remedy (I Won't Worry) - Jason Mraz


Okay that's it! Go, go, go!


Tear drop 9:47 PM of Sarah

Panic! Panic!

Yeah, so I can already feel the panic rising in my chest about this next essay we have to write, because there is no prompt. Basically she just said, find and object, and write about it. But don't make it some obvious meaning. And I'm all.... WHAT THE HELL? I have no idea what to write about, I just have to find a numinous object (which is defined as: Of or relating to a numen; supernatural. Filled with or characterized by a sense of a supernatural presence: a numinous place. Spiritually elevated; sublime. ) Straight from dictionary.com, baby. So any suggestions would be highly appreciated, as it's due Monday, and I am in serious need of a topic. Yah.


Tear drop 2:37 PM of Sarah

"How hard is it to just decide to be in a good mood, and be in a good mood?"

Not very hard, apparently. I decided to get happy, and stop broadcasting my shit, which is really inconsequential shit, with all of the drama that happened at the beginning of the week (has it seriously only been a week?) and everything else up here, has kind of calmed down to the point where it is a-ok, and sometimes fun.

Friday night Jenn, Shawna and I went to go see Charlies Angels 2 at the dollar theater, and let me tell you, when you get lost in tiny Lynchburg, ask directions from really, really hot college boys outside a Logan's Steakhouse (Clarke the Carnivore, I'm looking at you! :) ) have to turn around for like half an hour, finally find the theater, get hit on by a ten year old, and chain smoke in the back of your friend's mom's Cadillac while listening to rap music at top volume, you can have a whole hell of a lot of fun. And the movie really pumped up our spirits (we were kind of down, and Jenn's got meningitis) and we came back to the dorm and decided to sexify ourselves and go down to the Dell party, which sucked. Yeah, the party sucked because the original band canceled and the band that was up there were very very old (older than our DADS) and playing weird music, so we decided to flirt with some boys, and I stole a cute cafeteria worker's hat, and then we went up to a "party" with some other kids. No, I didn't "party" I observed carefully because the boy whose hat I stole (Josh) was very very flirty all night with the three of us, but Shawna has a boyfriend, and Jenn was trying to hook up with this other kid, and so I was put on Josh-detail. Which was actually fun, I think he and I can become friends. I still have his hat. So my friend Jenn goes to a party with her boy and some of his friends, and Shawna and I come home.

Saturday, I have to work, bleh, but when I get off, Jenn is like, having hysterics because said boy has been not so much on the nice side and really freaked her out, so the three of us hang out all night and go to WalMart and end up getting hit on by another 12 year old boy and his 21 year old brother and then come back and eat Little Caesar's pizza and watch Just Married. Then we decide to go out again looking for some fun, but we don't find any, because Hampden Sydney boys are v. sketch, probably the most sketch of any boys up here, and then we come back and watch Life As a House, and cry. It was good.

And then I make a dumbass out of myself, because having talked to Ian right when the movie was about to start, asked if I could call him back later, said it would be pretty late, told him what movie we were watching, and he says, no problem, I'll be here. His cell phone is dead, right, so I have to call his house line, which I'm panicked about. So I call him at 2:30 in the morning, on his house line, and on the third ring, his dad picks up HELLO? V. not happy sounding. So I meekly ask if Ian is there, and he runs around the house screaming for Ian who is in fact, not there, and tells me that HE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW, I'LL HAVE HIM CALL YOU LATER. Yeah. So I like being on people's parents shit lists for calling at 2:30 in the morning. Whatever.

And then I slept until 3:30, and got up and went for a long walk with Jenn and am now supposed to be doing homework, but I don't really feel like it. In happy, happy news, I'm coming home! I'll be home from October 1st thru October 5th, so if anybody wants to get together and chill, it sounds like a good plan to me. Let me know, mmmkay? And I will have full use of my beloved baby, Lola, so I am going to be out all night. Woo!

But something I wanted to write about... there are these really sweet little old ladies who work in the bookshop with me, and they are very very religious, and very much about the honor code, and very sweet and understanding. And the majority of them have not lived anywhere outside of Lynchburg their entire lives. They were born in Lynchburg, went to school at Sweet Briar, and then stayed around to work and live in the Lynchburg area. How sad is that? I don't want to become one of those women who just end up working for the college bookstore, how completely tragic would that be? But they don't want to go anywhere else, they're happy here, they've always been happy here, and I just can't imagine that feeling. Food for thought.

BUT I have more good news (for me anyway). I thought I'd lost my butterfly necklace, the last remaining item from the set my mom bought me in 8th grade, but NO. I found it today. Like a dumbass, I had forgotten that when I put up my bulletin board, I hung the necklace on a pin, and it got stuck behind some pictures and papers, so I didn't find it until I took a reminder down. So yay for me.

Tear drop 4:55 PM of Sarah

WOW. So today was a pretty good day, because as I mentioned in my last post, I've just gotten to the point where I don't give a shit about much anymore. So all of the things that should be stressing me out... aren't. And I haven't done anything today I didn't want to do. Yeah. So, I put up some pictures today in a nifty little collage on my wall, around my bulletin board. Used some of Drew's from his picture post, and some I had developed, and some I actually remembered to bring with me, and they're really awesome. It looks so cool. I like it a lot. And so does everyone who has been in to look at it.

OOOH! I think I'm going to write for the SBC Voice as a freelance journalist, so we'll see how that goes. Kind of scared I'll have nothing to say, or no one will like it or something, but I'm excited that I got one of the spots (we had to send in writing examples). So yeah, excitement on that part. And what else... oh, I started work at the bookshop today, which is uber boring, but hopefulyl when I start working in the cafe in October and I'm there at night, I'll be able to do homework and get free drinks and stuff, so yay. And more hours, which is always a good call. But they don't do taxes here! How awesome is that?

I also had the most amazing time working out tonight, because I got a feeling I'd never gotten before. I was on this machine, I have no idea what it's called or how to describe it, but I was so pissed off about something, and listening to Linkin Park,and decided I wanted to burn more than 15 calories a minute, and so I started racing myself. And I got to going so fast so hard that my body was aching and my muscles were screaming and my stomach was begining to stitch and my chest felt like it was going to collapse in on me and I was grinning, wanting more. So cool.

And then I got back, and I helped my friend Jenn prepare her monologue for her acting class, and I gave her some staging directions and vocal directions, and I don't know, just direction. And it worked! And she was so happy, and so nice and thankful, and I never realized that I could do that. But she liked it, and we're going to work on it some every day. So I'm really excited about that, and then I went to shower.

As I was in the shower, with the water running, down at the other end of the hall from my room, I heard these people being absolutely LOUD. And I thought they were laughing. But then I realize these two girls are absolutely going at it, downright screaming down by my room. And so I get out of the shower, and they're still screaming, and the girl from Jersey is telling the black girl to go back to the hood, that she's from Virginia, that people don't really talk like that. And Shawna (the black girl) is just trying to back it off, but Jersey came and banged on her door for her to come and "Talk to her about this" while screaming of course. And so things get really heated, and Jersey keeps stepping towards Shawna like she's going to do something, so Shawna starts taunting her, and Jersey's like, whatever, still screaming. And so Shawna told her that if she wasn't going to do anything, then she was leaving, and lightly slapped her on the face. And then she turned to walk away, and Jersey jumped on her. There was a full out brawl in the middle of my hall, fists flying and hair pulling and everything. Craziness. We had to pull them apart, and I was in my fucking towel! It was seriously out there. Yeah. So.

That's all the news that's fit to print - off the record, on the QT, and very hush, hush. :)


Tear drop 1:33 AM of Sarah

Okay, so, first things first, I'm sorry that I am a melodramatic person and it comes out in my blogs. I am sorry I upset people by posting about my weekend on here, and for all of the things that I blow up into huge deals when they're really small. However, I'm not going to take back anything I said or did. I'm just sorry it hurt people. Next.

I don't care anymore! I just don't care. For some reason, I have no cares. Like, I have about a bajillion things bottled up in me telling me that I should be stressed out, but I don't fucking care. So yeah. Sorry about the excessive use of the F word, my hallmates use it a lot, and so do the boys. So yeah. Anyway, no big news, rocking the OLP mix over and over again, and LOVING IT.

Tear drop 11:45 PM of Sarah

Adventures in Tallahassee...

Part One: In Which Sarah Flies on a Prop Plane and Gets Yelled At
So the Lynchburg airport is absolutely tiny, and it's one of those you climb up the stairs from the ground to get into the plane, and these are tiny planes man, not fun. And there was turbulence out my ASS and my head was shaking and I got sick. Yeah. And then I got to Hartsfield and called Sara (woo!) and then grabbed some ABC (weird, isn't it?) and then my mom found me. The yelling and disappointment that ensued... I wonder why I even speak to her anymore. She makes me feel awful. But I kept thinking over and over "I'm going to Tallahassee. I'm going to see my boys. Everything will be okay." And so I got on another airplane...

Part Two: In Which The Trinity Are Reunited
45 minutes. That's all it takes to get from Hartsfield to Tallahassee in good weather, so that was fun. And then I waited outside for Ian to show up in the cab, and when he got there I showed him a surprise... I pierced my belly button! Officially, legally, actually paid for it this time. And it looks badass, I must say. And so the pierced navel and the pierced belly button went to Ian's dorm and hung out for a little bit, dropped off some stuff, and then went over to Chandlers. At Chandler's, hugs were exchanged, we kind of let ourselves in and surprised him, and then we broke out the alcohol. Drinking with the boys is a ton more fun than drinking with my girls because we got absolutely shit faced, and called Adam, and then I threw up (bonus points for me) and we went out to smoke, which prompted Chandler to throw up as well. Lovely, isn't it? But we spent the whole night hanging out, and at one point I got so out of it that Ian had to take me to Chandler's room, right as buff Kyle came in with his brother, and this taking of me to Chandler's room earned me a... I don't know. Title? That shall be explained later... And then Chad fell asleep on the couch thing they have out in their common room, and Ian and I tried to move him but he kept sitting up and going, "Okay, okay move me.... no, no, wait..." and he would lay his head back down. So we covered him up with some blankets, and went back to Ian's.

Part Three: In Which Adam and Sarah Are Returned to Civilization
We woke up, me slightly woozy, Ian a bit hungover, and called Chad, who was in pretty much the same state as me. Since we'd puked, it hadn't stayed in our systems. And then I got clean (felt grungy from previous alcohol consumption) and by the time I was done primping, Chandler was banging on the door saying that Adam and Jessica had arrived. Woo! I was so happy to see Adam, and Adam's car, which I fully think deserves a name, I have no ideas, but I think she needs one. And so we drove (driving! what fun!) to Taco Bell (ohhh.... yummy...) and had some of that, and then drove over to Best Buy. Best Buy... was laid out exactly like at home. And I know that I sound absolutely out of my mind, but still... I hadn't seen anything with that amount of things I could recognize and enjoy and want since I left. It was like returning to a mothership or something. Yah. We then got on the phone with buff Kyle who invited us to his family's tailgate party, and crazy directions and Adam screaming FUCK every time we missed a turn ensued. We made it to the tailgate party, parked in a crazy location that caused Adam much worry, and then Kyle's parents were very generous with the beer, and we kind of chilled for a while, having fun. However, when I was reintroduced to Kyle's brother (after having promised the night before "I'll be a much better person tomorrow, I promise!") said brother said, "oh yeah, you're that girl that went into the room with that guy." Grreeeaaaaat. Whatever. We then returned to Ian's dorm so I could distribute posters (the ones I blogged about earlier) and then Adam and Jessica left, for a party up at VSU. YEAH ADAM SCHERER! That's all about that. :)

Part Four: In Which We Watch Classics and Get Shitfaced... Again.
So we watched Fight Club (excellent, excellent, I hadn't seen it in SO LONG) and then we went out for a little bit, can't remember what exactly, but we did. And then we came back and I decided to make up a drinking game for Moulin Rouge: four swigs of beer for every time they sing, and a shot of Crown Royal Whiskey (oh JESUS that stuff burns) everytime the Bohemian dogma was mentioned. That night was incredible, probably one of my favorite memories with the boys, because we were BELTING song lyrics and dancing to El Tango de Roxanne, and buff Kyle came in and chilled with us, and it was just so fun. I love that movie! So we had fun with that, and then went for a smoke after the movie was over, and called Loren and left her a funny message, and I puked on the balcony. I made the mistake of telling Chandler I was a lightweight, which he interpreted incorrectly, and minute trouble ensued (wow I've used that word a lot this post) but it's all okay now. And then the boys took me and put me in Chandler's bed, and I couldn't get back out because I felt a wee bit woozy, and so they went out to smoke again and left me there... and I fell asleep.

Part Five: In Which Sarah Gets Ditched (Again)
So I wake up at 10 o'clock, and someone has put Chandler's huge puff on me, and so I roll over, expecting to see the boys, but no one is there. And so I go out to the common room thinking maybe they passed out there watching a movie or something after I went to bed. But no. And I go check the staircase to see if they're smoking, but again, no. So I call Ian's cell, who picks up, but thinks for some reason that I am in Virginia, and so when I say "where are you?" while being slightly nervous about being left alone, he thinks smartass for a minute and realizes, oh yeah, I'm passed out on my floor, and Chandler's in my bed, and we didn't tell her we were leaving, and she's all alone. Yah, so they come over, and we crash in the beds, and it takes me a while to go back to sleep, but I do eventually, and then... I wake up. And there is this enormously tall guy just kind of going through the refridgerator. Weird to wake up to, let me tell you. Yes! The elusive roommate Kyle had finally appeared, and so I told Ian, "he probably wants us to get out of his bed." And we did. And we plodded about for a bit not doing much of anything, took showers, went for a walk, ate some lunch, burned CD's, and hung out with the Kyles and weed Kyle's parents and stuff. And then we magically decided it was time to go to the airport. Crisis ensues. (There it is AGAIN!)


Part Six: In Which It All Goes to Hell
So we head for the airport, we're good on time and everything, not too bad, Tallahassee is a small, regional airport, right? No waiting, right? WRONG. First there was a problem with my ticket because I got there at 5:34 and they close the windows on flights 30 minutes before their departure (my flight left at six). And then I said an almost very tearful good-bye to Ian, after having said good-bye to really sweet and nice buff Kyle and Chandler at the sidewalk, and got in line for security, which took FOREVER. There were a few problem people in front of me, and as they only had one line open, it took forever. And then, I looked at my boarding pass, which the ticket agent had given me, and went, okay, C23. So then I start running around trying to find the C gates, but there are no C gates. And by the time I realize she put my Atlanta to Tallahassee boarding pass on top, it was 6:05, the plane was GONE. I missed my flight. So I cried and got my ticket changed over for a 6:10 am flight today, and called Chandler and Ian bawling, asking if they could come get me, but buff Kyle had left, so that was out. And then I went around to every kiosk and convenience set up and rental place in the airport and asked if they could give me cash if I charged something, but all said no. So getting a taxi was out. While in the midst of flipping out, I happened upon a worker who was getting off at 7, and would take me back to Chandler's dorm. So that worked out okay. I got back, we smoked, Chandler did laundry and we folded while listening to Our Lady Peace and rolling around on a skateboard, I helped weed Kyle with his homework, and we watched fun clips on Ebaumsworld.

Part Seven: The Nights of the Two Fire Alarms
So we head over to Taco Bell, who would not, in fact, serve us, even though we had four fucking wheels. Our car was just invisible man, and who cares if three of the wheels smoked and had emphysema and had to catch up with the nonsmoker (buff Kyle)? They would not serve us, so we did the Schlotzky's thing, and I paid, woo. And then we came back and realized it was fucking one in the morning, and we had to leave at 4:30 to make my flight in plenty of time, so buff Kyle went to bed, and we put on Boondock Saints! Yah! And Ian and I watched that while Chad talked to Sara, and in the midst of their conversation, comes this huge BLARING noise that scared the shit out of me. The fire alarm. So we all trek outside, everybody grumbling, and wait and wait and wait, and then we get to go back in. And so we settle back into the movie some, and then it goes off AGAIN. We were pissed. We were BEYOND pissed. And then we were fucking sitting on the ground and this idiots come out and start playing football OVER OUR BODIES and just running around and being stupid. And so we ragged on them for a while, because, honest to god, who wants to play fucking FOOTBALL at 3 in the fucking morning? FUCK, man. For the second fire alarm we were outside for a long, looong time, and finally got to go back in, during which my mother called. At 4. Yay. I was sooo happy. And so Ian and I went for a walk, and I realized I'd left my razor at his place (the second fucking one I've bought since I got here, one I had to get because I left mine at home, and the other because somebody STOLE IT out of my shower basket) and we head back to get it, and meet up with Chandler and say good-bye, etc. and buff Kyle drives me and Ian over to the airport.

Airport Crisis Eight Billion Nine Million Trillion Blah Blah Blah
So at this point it's almost five in the morning. My flight doesn't leave until 6:10. So Ian walks me in, makes sure my tickets are good, etc. and I'm so fucking tired I can't even think about crying, which, in the end, was a good thing. So then I go and SIT outside the goddamn door for an hour before they board the flight, and I got to sit by myself, a window seat. You have no idea how amazing a sunrise can look until you see it from above the clouds, above the city, above the world and life. Ian, man, you would have loved it. It was absolutely beautiful. But I can't sleep on planes, even though I'm tired out of my mind, and so I listen to some Our Lady Peace and watch other people sleep. People make really weird faces when they're all contorted on the airplane. And so I got off in Hartsfield (home! kind of...) and find the damn smoking lounge (the most disgusting place ever, I do not reccommend ever going in one) and then grab myself some fucking breakfast (I think I ate, like, two meals when I was down there... three, maybe?) and find... dum dum dum dum, an ATM. See, Audra was going to pick me up from the airport last night, but since I didn't get in, and she had to work today and everything, she couldn't come get me. So that meant I had to call a cab. So I empty out my Suntrust ATM (which is NOT the one I overdrew) except for 1.01, and put the cash in my wallet, and head over to my gate to sit and read my rolling stone, drink my coffee, and eat my Cinnabon. So I get on the plane, and again, can't sleep, and it's fucking cold, and I'm unhappy because this means I haven't slept for exactly 24 hours. And so I get to Lynchburg airport, get up the escalator, go to the cab company they have set up in the transportation center, get ready to pay the set fare of 35 dollars, and realize that my money is gone. I shake out the entire purse, go through everything, check any part of my bag or me that I could have put it in, and realize that for that split second in which I turned to throw my breakfast trash away, someone stole my cash. So, I am stranded at Lynchburg airport, no cab company accepts credit cards, Audra can't come get me, I have no numbers of anyone in my dorm with a car, I have absolutely no money, after I drained my account to get that last squeeze of cash, I haven't slept at this point for 25 hours, and I break down into huge gulping sobs. It was awful. So I called campus security, who suggested the name of this cab company who might let me ride on credit, and so I call him, and he comes to get me, but at this point, I'm done for. I cannot take it anymore. So I just sob the whole way home, and the whole time while I'm waiting for him, and I get back to the dorm and calm down a bit, and get up the stairs and the girls in my hall are all happy to see me, and how was your day and blah blah blah, and I start crying again. The End.

So while I did have an absolutely fun and amazing time down in TLH, the process of getting back to Virginia nearly killed me. And I can't go to sleep, because I have my damn essay class in an hour, and I have to turn this paper in or I will shoot myself. I'm sure my description of the fun that was had does not compare to Clarke and Sara's at all, but it meant a lot to me to be down there and have so much fun. Everyone was so NICE! And I forgot my problems for the days I was down there. On the happy side, I checked my mailbox when I got in, and I had received a little present from the amazing Velma Kelly. Clarke, you completely made my day liveable, and I thank-you so very much for it. You'll be receiving something more personal and not quite so yammery (I've had about six cups of coffee today) but I love it - it's amazing. And I will start a new collection - I know I have that damn necklace somewhere! And that is the end of my incredibly long, but paragraphed post. I don't expect anyone to read all of it, but if you do, thank you. And GOOD NIGHT.

Tear drop 12:41 PM of Sarah

And this is why medical reports are supposedly made confidential...

Yeah, so my mom somehow convinced my gynecologist/doctor to let her see my medical report, and uh, found out some things she shouldn't have. Which means that having that nice "discussion" with her for three hours in the airport tomorrow is going to be tons of fun. Along with the fact that I somehow overdrew my checking account by about 80 dollars, and the fees for overdrawing are incredibly high, which means that I now have -160.55 in my Bank of America account. Fun stuff. I wish that I could just wake up and blink away everything that has happened since January, do it over again. I'd fix a lot of mistakes.

Tear drop 12:45 AM of Sarah

Not to wax all poetic and sad and be completey "woe is me," but my Art of the Essay class completely disheartened me, and made me seriously judge my value as a writer. Drew's comment about paragraphs certainly didn't help, either (j/k Dew, j/k). It is one thing to deal with constructive criticism and walk into a class taught by a published writer knowing that you are not anywhere near their standards and that you will have to work for compliments, A's, etc. It is quite another to walk out of a class reading the comments on your first essay, the one you were so incredibly proud of, and realize that your entire writing style is not appropriate for this class, for this college.

I was so proud of my essay, I thought that I had put the wonders of the night of Rocky Horror into excellent prose and dialogue with a nicely detailed description and a good solid conclusion. However, the only point on which my professor agreed with me was my good solid conclusion: "Best line of the whole thing." Not to say she didn't like the essay itself, but reading over her corrections and her comments, I feel completely alienated from the style of writing that I have come to call my own. I owned that night in my memory, I spilled it out onto the page as best I could, verbatim, and then went back and edited so that it wasn't just thoughts tumbling out, but an actual connected story. And now... it feels as if my story has been ripped to shreds and I've no idea how I'm going to turn in my next essay, due Friday, which is already even more in my own style of writing than the last one. I don't know how to conform to her wishes, but I fear that in order to make the grade I want in this class, I will have to.

As for bad news, I woke up this morning with the left side of my throat so completely swollen I couldn't breathe out of it, and realized that I had been justiying this pain in my sleep by saying that I had a cut on my tonsil (?!?!). I then went to Biology where I slogged through class and wished that I could sleep all the way through one night so I wouldn't feel like crap the next morning, and trugged the 3/4 mile trek back to Meta Glass with Audra. I collapsed on the bed, realized that I had a fever, and seriously considered skipping my Italian class and just heading for the health center, so that they could figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. I took seven Advil, began to feel a bit numb, but the swelling in my throat decreased enormously, and felt awake enough to go to Italian, so went into the hall to meet my friend Shawna, and locked the door behind me. Realizing that Shawna wasn't ready to go yet, I unlocked the door to my room, and left my stuff outside in the hall. I brought my keys in with me, checked my email, and left, locking the door behind me, and locking my keys inside the room. To make matters worse, I was planning on finishing reading a 64 page essay I had to have done by 1:30 this afternoon in the hour I have between Italian and Art of the Essay, which I had only gotten through 45 pages of, and had also locked inside the dorm room.

So I went to Italian, and suffered through the monologue of a woman who has been here 36 years but still cannot make sense out of English, and has piss-poor handwriting so that everything is scrawled incoherently on the blackboard, of which she does not erase entirely, so those irritable little chalk marks are EVERYWHERE on the board. She assigned massive amounts of homework, and then let us go free, and on my way to pick up Audra's keys from her at the museum, realized that my lighter had fallen out of my back pocket, and thus could not have the cigarette I was desperately wanting. I then skipped lunch to finish reading the essay, after not having breakfast, and then went to my essay class to be disheartened.
Upon returning to the dorm I was greeted with the knowledge that two of my friends were arrested last night for drunken driving and for being high on Xanax (which they snorted). Oh what fun it is to be a college student. Yee-haw.

Tear drop 3:59 PM of Sarah