light breaks underneath
a heavy door
and i try to keep myself awake
fall all around us on a hotel floor
and you think that you've made a mistake
and theres a pain in my stomach
from another sleepless binge
and i struggle to get myself up again
i want to hang onto something
that wont break away or fall apart
like the pieces of my heart

chorus
and globes and maps are all around me now
i want to feel you breathe me
globes and maps i see surround you here
why wont you believe me?
globes and maps they chartered your way back home
do you want to leave or something?

dreams came around you
in a hazy rain
you open your mouth wide to feel them fall
and i write a letter from a one-way train
but i dont think youll read it at all

chorus

i cant take this anymore
i know that i cant take this anymore
i cant take this anymore
cuz i know someday ill see you walk out that door

chorus


Tear drop 10:17 AM of Sarah

If the world could crash down around me anymore than it already has, I'm sure that it would. I always say that I'm going to hell, but I just got a really big newsflash: I am in hell.

Tear drop 3:39 AM of Sarah

Someone get me away from here, I'm dying.

Tear drop 2:09 AM of Sarah

Work. Is. Hell. I ache from my neck to my toes. I am tired. I smell of sandwich. I didn't get to take a break or sit down once in 8 hours. Hell hell hell hell hell. But it's money. And I need it, desperately.

Tear drop 6:09 PM of Sarah

Graduation is too hyped up. It is too stressful to actually have fun during it. I think I am going to throw up. Fuck.

Tear drop 5:21 PM of Sarah

Okay, so I don't have a whole lot to say, that's why I don't update a lot, and why I don't talk a whole lot when out in big groups. Things are personal for me. That's all there is to say on that subject. However... I NEVER HAVE TO SEE MME. CLINE EVER AGAIN!
Halle-fucking-lujah! I hated that class so, so, so much, as is evidenced by my total of 18 absences this semester alone (thanks to Ian and Chandler, my permanent skip buddies) and my lack of drive to do absolutely ANYTHING for that class. Project? Ehh... not so much. I'm done. Finished. No more french, in my life, ever, I'm taking Italian, get me the hell out of Milton's foreign language department, the teachers are FUCKED UP. YAY!

So, now that my rant and jubilation is over, filming today was fun, even if I didn't actually do anything but sit there and talk to my sister. Robin Hood: Men in Tights rules, I just saw it for the first time, and I turned my sisters on to Boondock Saints, yay for that. Yay for Irish accents - totally and completely the sexiest turn on ever. On that note... cue the music...

Two more fucking days, baby. I'm ecstatic. I know everyone expects me to get all depressed and sentimental, and truth be told, I am, BUT the fact that we're graduating hasn't really hit me yet. When it does, the tears will fall, believe me. I'm saving it all up, similar to Nick, waiting for my well of tears to overflow.

Thanks to all for the senior letters - they really made me happy and sad at the same time. I received some of the most beautiful sentiments and memories in those letters, for which I thank you all.

All right, I'm going to bed, so I bid you farewell and sweet dreams. See you tomorrow! And Clarke... babe... you've snapped....dum da dum dum.... DUM!

Tear drop 9:53 PM of Sarah

I hae a big red stain on the sleeve of my shirt, and I'm covered in dirt and grass stains, and there are little bits of grass in my hair. I wish that I could say that all of this came from sleeping out under the stars, which, admittedly, would have been cool; however, all of this wonderful markings came from the fact that I got a wee bit more than tipsy last night. Last year I wrote about the magic of prom, and how, after everything has passed, you feel like Cinderella, losing the glass slipper, not quite sure of how to get back without the pumpkin, and wondering if you'll ever find Prince Charming. And this year, I feel different, I feel weirder, older, wiser, stupider all at the same time, like I don't belong in my house. I feel like going and laying in the grass some more, smoking my heart out. Prom was wonderful, magnificent, and magical - the car ride was so much fun, we had a great time and listened to good music, and dinner was absolutely delicious (thank-you, boys!) and dancing was fantastic. I danced with a boy whom I was afraid had forgotten me, I danced with quite possibly the best booty-dancer in the world (love you Nickie) I girl-ground, and spent a wonderful night dancing with Ian. I could not have asked for a better prom date, he was absolutely amazing. And I love my roses - they're absolutely gorgeoous. And then we got drunk and Chandler threw up, and I apparently shouted out things like, "I'm not wearing a bra!" and other inane phrases, and rolled around in the grass giggling, and losing my earring, and smoking and freaking out. And then Adam and Ian and Robby and Sven left for a bit and went to Waffle House, and Bethany and I went for a long walk and played in the Falls of Autry Mill fountain, and came back and talked to Sara and Jason for a while, and hung out in Ian's car, and Adam threw up LOTS (it was disgusting) because of the waffle, nicotene, and caffeine, and we made some awful concoction out of toothpaste and cookie cake and fed it to Chanlder, and bolted pell-mell out of the basement to Ian's car, where we drove in a circle for a while, but it was nice and it was fun. Squiggly FUCK! And then we went to Jason's room and fell asleep, and I slept for a while... and I don't have a headache at all. I feel bad for Chandler, I really do, he must feel like absolute crap. But prom was amazing, magical and wonderful - even with all the drunken misshaps and the vomiting and the smoking... I had a really great time. I will not forget this prom, how much fun I had with my friends and my best friend... dancing in a that little group with all of you was one of the more infinite moments of life, and one that I will treasure always. En vino veritas, my friend, I said somethings I shouldn't have said. Not bad things, just things I should have kept quiet about. I'm sorry... but I wouldn't take back last night for anything.

Tear drop 4:22 PM of Sarah

Holy shit! Prom!

Tear drop 4:27 PM of Sarah

Okay, so today? Not so much on the cool side. Ian's mom called me on my phone at 11:30 asking me if I'd seen him, and sicne he'd dropped me off at 8:15 with a rushed, "I have to be home at 8:30" I expected him to be home. But no. So my initial reaction is, dear God, he's dead in a gutter. Yeah. So I slept freakily, waking up a bunch of times between dreaming about myself dying and him being gone. And then I woke up and it was AP test day! And the AP test - WTF? How completely uncool was that? My head still hurts from thinking that much - actually, it wasn't that bad, but still, it was worse than I expected. And lunch was fun, and lit was fun (he didn't give me a part today, yay! I hope he gives me something cool!) and afterwards, driving home was all right. But I had a fight with my mom, and my stomach feels gross, and my head hurts, so I'm in a big negative funk. I cannot believe I have three freaking AP tests to look forward to, plus all of that makeup work for Dr. Adams. I'm fucked six ways from Sunday, isn't that great. But, I've got big things to look forward to - the band banquet (which actually is fun) and PROM, yay for prom, and yay for being almost done with all actual thinking, and yay for me finding out who my roommate is, and yay for college, and DisneyWorld... boo for my headache, indeed. I feel like watching a movie... suggestions?

Tear drop 7:50 PM of Sarah