I miss making things with my hands - for so long I was in one of Paris's art classes, sculpting, making something out of clay, just working with my hands. I felt so creative, so good, like I was doing something healthy, devoting my time and energy to something that was worthwhile. I haven't felt fulfilled like that in a long time... I miss making things. I doodle with my paint pens and wonder what I could make. I draw all over worksheets and quizzes and papers.... not paying attention to the teacher at all. I tried playing the piano again - how I missed it! But it still did not compare to the feeling that I got when I created something. The only thing that has been working that out of my system lately is the walking... but that only helps my legs to remember what it felt like to run around on fields and scurry about the track. My arms feel useless, I can feel them atrophieing (I know I didn't spell that properly...) and I don't know what to do. I feel wasted, in a sense.

Tear drop 10:48 PM of Sarah

OOOH I updated the quotes game. What fun for me!

Tear drop 2:13 AM of Sarah

"Love can fucking blow me." Thank you Ian. So, so much. Because it sums up EVERYTHING right now.

Tear drop 2:00 AM of Sarah

My dad lost his job. He hasn't even had this one for a full year yet. Shit.

Tear drop 12:12 AM of Sarah

ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN EMOTIONAL FUCKWITTAGE I AM SICK OF IT!

Thank you for your time.

Tear drop 11:25 PM of Sarah

As per Drew's much, much earlier request that we have parties every weekend, etc. etc., we've pretty much fulfilled those wishes thus far. But what are we doing next weekend? We need plans, people!

Tear drop 6:22 PM of Sarah

The time feels completely out of joint... I think staying up until 8 in the morning and then going home and sleeping until 2:30 will do that to you. But I feel so odd, like I should be somewhere, doing something... all of a sudden I feel like I don't fit in with my friends anymore, don't fit in anywhere anymore. I feel like going back to sleep.

Tear drop 2:54 PM of Sarah

In response to Drew's blog - Buffalo Springfield's "Stop, What's that Sound" or whatever it's called. The quintessential protest song. Or "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel. And CONGRATULATIONS TO JASON! Shakespeare ain't never heard it so good....

Tear drop 3:23 PM of Sarah

I used to be a hater of Valentine's Day. I loathed its very mention, as I have been an unfortunate SINGLETON for every Valentine's Day of my life. Remaining a Singleton, however, is not a big trial when you have wonderful friends to be Singletons with you. Mon meilleur ami, Ian, we had a wonderful time today - thank-you so much for the de-stressing in the afternoon, the Raising Arizona (too funny!), the talking.... thank god for the talking, the Steak-n-Shake, the guitar, Will and Grace viewing, the Barnes and Noble, dancing to Frank Sinatra in the middle of the parking lot behind Barnes and Noble, and going for that drive with me after Daredevil in order to clear my head. I had an amazing time tonight, thank-you. And to all my fabulous friends with whom I saw Daredevil (even Casey, oddly...) the movie, while it sucked, was entertaining at points, but even moreso was the laughter that emanated from the Aniele-Daniel-Bethany-Sarah-Sara quadrant of the group. It was good fun. "You see the light at the end of that tunnel? That's not heaven.... that's the C train!" So thank-you for Valentine's Day, mes amis, I truly enjoyed it, for the first time in years. Bon soir!

Tear drop 1:10 AM of Sarah

Oh and by the way: the characters names on Salute Your Shorts were...
Donkeylips, Ziff, Robert "Bobby" Budnik, Telly Redford, Sponge Harris, Dina Alexander, Michael Stein, and Ronald "Ronnie" Foster Pinsky.

Tear drop 9:02 PM of Sarah

Hurrah for clandestine trips to Publix during 5th period. Hurrah for the word clandestine!

Tear drop 7:19 PM of Sarah

I updated the quotes game! Play, play play!

Tear drop 12:25 AM of Sarah

Sitting in homeroom, registration sucks my ass. That said, I'm happy that today in French will be a nothing day. Hurrah for Nothing Days, and poo on Mme. Cline. She deserves it.

Tear drop 8:43 AM of Sarah

I'm so happy everyone came to my house for some good old fashioned Moulin Rouging baby! Singing along is always the highlight of my night. Well, nights when I'm watching Moulin Rouge. That was a Captain Obvious statement there, just thought I'd get that out of the way, but still. You all know what I mean! Hanging out with everyone is much fun - Shanghai Knights and Steak'n'shake before the Moulin Rouge viewing was also fabulous - Nick and Ian Simpson together are dangerous, let me tell you. Highly amusing. Pee in your pants amusing. Anyway, I was picking muffins up from couch cushions, etc. You guys really shouldn't get that mad at Daniel Glenn. He's not that bad, is he?

Tear drop 12:31 AM of Sarah

So I got into Sweet Briar. 3 weeks ago, I would have been awesome with this whole deal, and yes, I'm excited, but I don't want to leave home. I want to stay with my juniors and see my friends and the shows and the band kids and I want to see my sisters grow up. I don't know what to say!

Tear drop 9:58 PM of Sarah

Okay, so the Shakespeare Tavern is offering Solane: The Profane, or Solane : Murder in the Cathedral on the night of May 10. Is anybody interested in these, or should I find another place?

Tear drop 9:17 AM of Sarah

So I'm in the library. It's currently 9:11 am, and I'm supposed to be in French class. But Sarah, you might say, Madame Cline does not condone visits to the library. No, she does not. So last Friday we were supposed to have a quiz, and I was giving blood at the time. I went to my fourth period class and asked a girl who had Madame Cline 3rd period if we had had the quiz today. She said yes. I planned to make-up the quiz on Wednesday afternoon as is the regulation for all missed quizzes, and did not study for the quiz over the weekend, as I have better things to do with my time. However, when I walked into class today, all of my junior classmates had pulled out their books and had started to study. To study? I was confused beyond all means... I had had no idea that my class, first period, had not taken the quiz on Friday. When I approached Madame Cline about it, she grew irate. I told her that as I had not studied because I believed the quiz was on Friday and I had missed it, I was not able to take the quiz today, and asked her forgiveness. At which point she yelled at me to leave the room and go to the library for the duration of class. My things are still sitting on my desk in the room. If she didn't already hate me, she does now. What fun, to have to endure my final semester in high school with a teacher who hates me, in a subject I hate. Yippee!

Tear drop 9:14 AM of Sarah

"Bye bye Miss American Pie, drove the Chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry, and the good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye, singing this will be the day that I die...." Tonight was one of the most infinite and connected nights of my life. To begin with, the show was absolutely amazing, The jokes were amazing, everyone's acting was right on, and the dancing kicked ass. After the platforms had been broken down and we were sitting on top of them in a circle, I finally realized that the show was over. There was no more show to go on. And as we passed around the candle and took out our best experiences, our most loving words, and our most wonderful memories, I cried, and I saw people cry that I would never have expected to see cry. I went third, and I wish that I had had more time to say everything that I wanted to say. I started to write letters before the show, but when I started Daniel Glenn's, I began to cry and had to stop. His was my first letter. Sitting in that circle with you cast and crew members was a moment that I will remember forever - I felt so needed, so loved by everyone, and I realized just how much I needed and loved everyone else in that circle. Thank-you for crying with me, my friends. Bob's presence tonight was a pleasure, as we never see him, and I miss him a lot. But when we got to Robby's, again we sat in a circle and traded stories and love and ate wonderful food and had a wonderful time. I will never, ever forget sitting in a circle and seeing Daniel Glenn do the Saddam Hussein dance less than a foot away from me. Singing along to "I Will Survive" with all the chickies and the few males who knew all of the words was another happy experience. But I think that sitting there in that circle and singing along to Don Maclean at the top of our lungs, belting out the verses and watching everyone's face, that was the moment that I will remember when I'm 30, 45, 70, and long after I'm gone. Thank-you guys so much for letting me be a part of your production, thank-you for letting me into your lives and letting me get to the point where we can all sit in a circle and sing "American Pie" and love each other. This year's show was amazing, you guys did a fabulous job. I want you all to know that you are all my very best of friends, people whom I hope never to lose contact with. I'd like to take out of the candle all of my love for you guys, all of the magic that you wove over the past four months, You rock, my friends, you rock the socks off the entire world. I will never know a group of friends that I connect with more, that I have more fun and love with. I'd like to take each and every one of you out of the candle, right now, just as you are, and hold you in my memory and life forever. I suppose that I'm finished for now, I wish I could be more profound and make Clarke cry some more and bring tears to Daniel Glenn's eyes... I would pass the candle along, but there's no one else here but me... so here we go... "one, two, three... phshhhhhhhh."

Tear drop 12:47 AM of Sarah