And it just gets better and better...

Yesterday I saw The Two Towers, and wow, what an amazing movie. I loved it. People were telling me that I wouldn't like it because of all the war, but I loved it, and I wanted more, which is sad, I know. But my loving the movie is not what this is about. So my family and I leave the theater, and I grab my purse on the way out, and my mom asks,"did anybody drop anything? I just kicked something..." we all replied that we hadn't, and left. After we got home, I left to go to Casey's and I picked him up and we went to WalMart to buy a memory card or something for his Xbox, and then we decided to get dinner, as we were both STARVING. So we go into Wendy's and I pull out the 3 bucks I have in my back pocket, and start checking to see if there's more in my wallet. Well, my wallet wasn't there. And as I'm flipping out, I manage to go out to the car and search around the passenger seat to see if it's anywhere in there, and it's not. I figure it must have fallen out at the movie theater, but god, what if someone took it? So I start hyperventilating and crying because it has my social security card, my license, EVERYTHING in it. I'm crying so hard that I can't see, so Casey has to drive my car over to the theater. Along the way I manage to calm down enough to call Amy, godess that she is, and have her look up the number of the theater for me, and she does, and when I c all it, there is NO OPTION to speak to a real person. I about threw my phone out the window at that point, but I didn't want to have to explain THAT to my parents as well. So we get there, he drops me off, I go in, yes, they had the wallet, and then I run back out. All's well that ends well, I suppose, but man, I did not need that on top of the ring scare of the night before. Why am I loosing things left and right? I hate this!

Tear drop 1:02 PM of Sarah

Just so that everyone can have a good laugh at the expense of my stupidity, I'm going to tell you about the great disaster of December 29, 2002. Earlier today my sister complained about the fact that I never wear my class ring. To prove her wrong, I immediately put it on, and promptly forgot about it, as it feels natural when it's there. Well, you know how it's illegal to put your trash into a company's dumpster? My family and I go on illegal trash runs. Yes, we even play the Mission Impossible theme music. It's sick, I know. But the garbage men will not pick up anything OUTSIDE the garbage can, even if it's neatly tied in a bag. So all of the used wrapping paper that was leftover from Christmas had to go somewhere. So we figured, hey, we'll dump it behind Music and Arts, because they're assholes anyway. Well there were people behind the store, near the dumpster, so we kept driving, and ended up behind the Weight Watchers that's over there. So my dad and grab the garbage and run, my mom keeps th car in drive so that we can speed off the moment a cop arrives to arrest us (how odd would that be, to be arested with your PARENTS?). And I go to throw my bags into the dumpster, and my class ring slips off my finger, and goes into the dumpster. My parents flip. They scream. They cuss. A lot. And my dad and I climb up onto the sides of the dumpster to see if we can see it. We can't. So we drive home (parents still cussing, even though I'm explaining Balfour's loss policy) and get flashlights, and my mom drops me and my dad off at the dumpster, and pulls around to the other side to be on cop watch. And my dad climbs into the dumpster to look for my ring. Now it's a cardboard only dumpster, so it's not THAT bad, but it's still got shards of glass, coke cans, cockroaches, you get the picture. While he's in there searching for the ring, I'm on my hands and knees in the grass and surrounding area, looking under the dumpster, in the street, trying to find the ring. We do this for a good 45 minutes or so. My dad finishes rooting around for the ring, determines it is NOT there, and starts searching the perimeter. Well, we both search high and low for this thing, and we STILL can't find it, when we notice that there's a CD stuck akwardly in the lip of the dumpster. Lo and behold, the ring was next to the CD. So I now have my ring back, I had to clean my father's shoes, and when I told Ellery about it at Casey's tonight, all he said was, we have a Weight Watchers? Laugh it up at the idiot girl that wear's a too loose ring to go throw illegal garbage into a Weight Watchers dumpster. Oh, what a night.

Tear drop 12:19 AM of Sarah

It's kind of odd to know that within less than a week, I will be 18. Mine doesn't have that same melancholy feel about it that Drew's did, because I'll be able to spend my birthday with my family every year for the rest of my life. School is NEVER in session on the 3rd of January. I am excited and saddened by this prospect of being the big 18; I mean, no driving curfew, how cool is that? but then there is also that whole you're an adult scariness that comes with it. Who knows if I'm ready to be an adult? The state? The US frickin government? Currently I'm not believing that Dubya or any other part of the gov't has a clue what it's doing. War? No thank-you. My parents might know, but they're not given the option to vote on it. And me, well, I'm absolutely positive I'm not ready to become an adult, and start speeding up to the point where I will be one of those whom Thoreau refers to as the mass of men who lead lives of quiet desperation. So the big 1-8. It's a milestone, one that I've looked forward to and dreaded for a while. I wonder what's going to happen...

Tear drop 12:07 AM of Sarah

To all of my friends, both near and far, I wish you a very merry Christmas! I hope that Santa leaves lots of cool stocking stuffers by your chimnies with care, and that plates (once full) now have only crumbs of the food that was there. To all of my Jewish friends, I hope that you have a fabulous day scouring the malls, the theaters, and a number of other places for the best bargains and the best seats, and that you're invited for lots of leftover holiday treats. Be safe and be happy under the stars shining (somewhat) bright - Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Tear drop 2:23 PM of Sarah

I got a 99 on my Bio final!!!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!!

Tear drop 10:26 PM of Sarah

This is the point where we all start screaming and kill ourselves, thus negating any chance to a) take finals, and/or b) get into college.

Tear drop 5:11 PM of Sarah

Hey check out my quotes - nearly all are inspired by or involving Aniele - she's a cool chick. :)

Tear drop 12:17 AM of Sarah

I was going to blog about how upset I was about not making Winterguard captain, but in light of everything I've heard since then, I've decided my self-pity is out of season. The Othello test was painful - does anyone else agree?

Tear drop 7:22 PM of Sarah

So Taking Back Sunday rocked my frickin socks off, man. I had the greatest time - we drove down to the Cotton Club in massively packed 400 traffic, and got into the venue, and it was so small - I love it! And then Northstar came on, and they were pretty cool, I like the music, but they had no energy. And then The Reunion Tour came on, and wow, you should all go download their music. Now. It was SWEEET. Yes, there's an extra E in there on purpose. And then the Starting Line came on - how cool is that? Casey held me up for a little while so that I could see - I swear, everyone else there was at least 8 feet tall. And then I saw Kellen and Ryan Saunders and a few people in the crowd (I thought it was them, now I know it was them) and Casey and I got kind of stuck together. It was so crowded, we were all SO CLOSE to each other and the stage - it was mad crazy. And then Taking Back Sunday came on, and they were so cool. Oh man, Adam Lazzara is so amazing - he's GORGEOUS, he has a way cool voice, and he writes their lyrics. I told Casey I was going to marry him, but maybe not. I got shoved backwards into the pit at one point and had to fight my way out, and that was pretty cool and scary all at the same time. And then I got so squished - I had elbows on all sides, and right inbetween my boobs, and I couldn't breathe, it was so bad. So I got out, and watched from the background, which was still crazy, and bought my TBS shirt and stickers, and then it was over, and right as we were heading to the kiosks to buy things, TBS did an encore, woohoo! Way exciting, and then I went and bought a Starting Line shirt because the lead singer was over there and SIGNING THINGS. How awewsome is that? I met the lead singer of the Starting Line!!!!!!!!!!! He signed my shirt!!!!!!! And then Casey and I promptly got lost and took the wrong highway home, but we figured it out and only had to call my dad once. All in all, a great evening.

Tear drop 7:21 PM of Sarah

I can't believe that she called me. After MONTHS of not speaking to me, not telling me where she was, not telling me if she was alive, if she was in school, if she was pregnant... she calls out of the blue, at 10 o'clock at night, and wants to know if she can come by. I told her no, because my parents were asleep. My parents aren't asleep, they never go to sleep before midnight. I told her no because I'm not ready to deal with this. She was my best friend, she dragged me out of the hell and brimstone that was 8th grade alone, and she made it so that I could stand on my own to feet and give the world a sucker-punch in the gut for all that it dished out to me. I was nurtured under her Tori Amos loving thumb, and she and I shared a love for the same boy, a love that I cannot remember now, because it is too long altered, to long transposed into a dance between friendship and flirtation. He has been mine, alone from her, she has not existed to us for years. She pops in and out of the field of vision every few months or so, telling us about how she's screwing up her life, how she wants us to be a part of it, and then leaves, realizing that we've changed away from her. The last time we spoke was in June, when she came into the store and asked me if I had any pot. I have no pot, but she asked anyway. I wrote a story about her, about the angel-headed hipster that comes to lean on my glass counters and pout her lips at me and ask me if I remember all of the good days. I remember all of the good days, and I remember all of the bad, when she had me break up with her boyfriends for her, when we cried on the phone to each other, when she started having sex, when she dropped out of high school, when she moved out of her parents house, and when she disappeared. I remember that when she disappeared, I was so worried that she was dead in a gutter, or in a morgue on some overdose of ecstasy or whippets. I was terrified that she had crawled off to some forgotten ex-home to have a baby. And then I stopped caring, because I realized that she didn't care enough about me to tell me where she was going. She didn't pause to think about how I would feel when she left. When she got on the wrong Marta train that fateful night in May two years ago, she changed our lives forever. She got on the course that led to her destruction, leaving me and our boy on the other line to our lives today. We grew, we flourished under the watchful eye of the public school system, the management of businesses across the town, at athletic and muscial functions. She left. She withered in the southern light and left us to deal with her absence, the cracked earth that she had left behind. I didn't know how, and I don't know how, and I wasn't prepared for that phone call. "Sarah? HEY!" said the voice on the phone, and I recognized it instantly, after nearly 7 months of no contact. We used to talk on the phone every night, there was no way that I couldn't hear her voice and know the face that goes with it. There is a picture on my dresser of me and her, laughing, drinking pop and eating twizzlers and being skinny and pretty, and unharmed by our worlds yet, unseparated by the MARTA lines. It was my sisters birthday party, and I remember thinking that I would love her as my third sister forever and ever, and now I seize with panic when I hear her voice, and wonder what happened, what went wrong, where she changed, and when she got to that point that I couldn't save her. I wanted to save her so much, so badly, I would have taken her into my home, and nourished her like a baby bird, keeping her on the path that led to happiness, not on the MARTA train that led to Doraville, where sex, drugs, and lies awaited her. She would have been ok, she wouldn't have dropped out and thrown her future down the drain. Things would be ok, she would still spend the night every weekend and help me get ready for dances and talk to me for hours about boys and our future. Instead I talk to my journal and my blog about boys and my future, and wonder what future she has to look forward to. Where is she going? How can I stop her, save her, help her? Does she want to be saved? How can I throw myself back in time and leap onto that train and pull her off, take her home with me for the night? I need to know how to handle this situation, I need to be able to smooth my friendships like some people smooth out their bedsheets and get through this before I go to college. I don't know how to help her, and it is breaking my heart.

Tear drop 10:37 PM of Sarah

"God is a man in a dress with a vacuum." - Stephen Clawson, courtesy of Ryan Graham's t-shirt.

Tear drop 9:26 PM of Sarah

I have a real Christmas tree. I've been fighting the fakes for four years. I finally have my real tree! It smells so delicious - a real tree is part of what makes Christmas, Christmas.

Tear drop 9:01 PM of Sarah

A question: "For I did not make haste with my work, but rather made the most of it." ---- Did Thoreau ever attend high school?

A second question: WHY IS MY SISTER LISTENING TO A BACKSTREET BOYS ALBUM FROM 5 YEARS AGO?

Tear drop 10:14 PM of Sarah